Petition for a plaque at the National War Memorial in memory of Corporal Nathan Cirillo."

This is a petition I just signed and decided to post on the site for anyone who would like to sign. It is to ask for a plaque to be placed in honor of Corporal Nathan Cirillo who was the soldier shot to death by a terrorist on October 22, 2014 in Ottawa. Please sign in honor of Nathan Cirillo so all will remember him and what he stood for. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thanks for signing my petition, "The Honourable Stephen Harper: Place a plaque at the National War Memorial in memory of Corporal Nathan Cirillo." Can you help this petition win by asking your friends to sign too? It's easy to share with your friends on Facebook - just click here to share the petition on Facebook. There's also a sample email below that you can forward to your friends. Thanks again -- together we're making change happen, David W --------- Note to forward to your friends: Hi! I just signed the petition "The Honourable Stephen Harper: Place a plaque at the National War Memorial in memory of Corporal Nathan Cirillo" on Change.org. It's important. Will you sign it too? Here's the link: http://www.change.org/p/the-honourable-stephen-harper-place-a-plaque-at-the-national-war-memorial-in-memory-of-corporal-nathan-cirillo?recruiter=31480877&utm_campaign=signature_receipt&utm_medium=email&utm_source=share_petition Thanks!

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L. Frank Baum... Wizard Of Oz Creator. His views on Natives

Wikipedia

The first piece was published on December 20, 1890, five days after the killing of the Lakota Sioux holy man, Sitting Bull (who was being held in custody at the time). 

Following is the complete text of the editorial:

Sitting Bull, most renowned Sioux of modern history, is dead.

He was not a Chief, but without Kingly lineage he arose from a lowly position to the greatest Medicine Man of his time, by virtue of his shrewdness and daring.

He was an Indian with a white man's spirit of hatred and revenge for those who had wronged him and his. In his day he saw his son and his tribe gradually driven from their possessions: forced to give up their old hunting grounds and espouse the hard working and uncongenial avocations of the whites. 

And these, his conquerors, were marked in their

dealings with his people by selfishness, falsehood and treachery. What wonder that his wild nature, untamed by years of subjection, should still revolt? 

What wonder that a fiery rage still burned within his breast and that he should seek every opportunity of obtaining vengeance upon his natural enemies.

The proud spirit of the original owners of these vast prairies inherited through centuries of fierce and bloody wars for their possession, lingered last in the bosom of Sitting Bull. 

With his fall the nobility of the Redskin is extinguished, and what few are left are a pack of whining curs who lick the hand that smites them. 

The Whites, by law of conquest, by justice of civilization, are masters of the American continent, and the best safety of the frontier settlements will be secured by the total annihilation of the few remaining Indians. Why not annihilation? 

Their glory has fled, their spirit broken, their manhood effaced; better that they die than live the miserable wretches that they are. 

History would forget these latter despicable beings, and speak, in latter ages of the glory of these grand Kings of forest and plain that Cooper loved to heroize.

We cannot honestly regret their extermination, but we at least do justice to the manly characteristics possessed, according to their lights and education, by the early Redskins of America.

Following the December 29, 1890, massacre, Baum wrote a second editorial, published on January 3, 1891:

The peculiar policy of the government in employing so weak and vacillating a person as General Miles to look after the uneasy Indians, has resulted in a terrible loss of blood to our soldiers, and a battle which, at best, is a disgrace to the war department. 

There has been plenty of time for prompt and decisive measures, the employment of which would have prevented this disaster.

The Pioneer has before declared that our only safety depends upon the total extermination  of the Indians. Having wronged them for centuries we had better, in order to protect our civilization, follow it up by one more wrong and wipe these untamed and untamable creatures from the face of the earth. In this lies safety for our settlers and the soldiers who are under incompetent commands. 

Otherwise, we may expect future years to be as full of trouble with the redskins as those have been in the past.

An eastern contemporary, with a grain of wisdom in its wit, says that "when the whites win a fight, it is a victory, and when the Indians win it, it is a massacre."

Warriors of the Rainbow

There was an old lady, from the "Cree" tribe, named "Eyes of Fire", who prophesied that one day, because of the white mans' or Yo-ne-gis' greed, there would come a time, when the fish would die in the streams, the birds would fall from the air, the waters would be blackened, and the trees would no longer be, mankind as we would know it would all but cease to exist.

There would come a time when the "keepers of the legend, stories, culture rituals, and myths, and all the Ancient Tribal Customs" would be needed to restore us to health. They would be mankinds’ key to survival, they were the "Warriors of the Rainbow". 

There would come a day of awakening when all the peoples of all the tribes would form a New World of Justice, Peace, Freedom and recognition of the Great Spirit.

The "Warriors of the Rainbow" would spread these messages and teach all peoples of the Earth or "Elohi". They would teach them how to live the "Way of the Great Spirit". They would tell them of how the world today has turned away from the Great Spirit and that is why our Earth is "Sick".

The "Warriors of the Rainbow" would show the peoples that this "Ancient Being" (the Great Spirit), is full of love and understanding, and teach them how to make the "Earth or Elohi" beautiful again. These Warriors would give the people principles or rules to follow to make their path right with the world. These principles would be those of the Ancient Tribes. 

The Warriors of the Rainbow would teach the people of the ancient practices of Unity, Love and Understanding. They would teach of Harmony among people in all four comers of the Earth.

Like the Ancient Tribes, they would teach the peoples how to pray to the Great Spirit with love that flows like the beautiful mountain stream, and flows along the path to the ocean of life. 

Once again, they would be able to feel joy in solitude and in councils. They would be free of petty jealousies and love all mankind as their brothers, regardless of color, race or religion. 

They would feel happiness enter their hearts, and become as one with the entire human race. Their hearts would be pure and radiate warmth, understanding and respect for all mankind, Nature, and the Great Spirit. They would once again fill their minds, hearts, souls, and deeds with the purest of thoughts. They would seek the beauty of the Master of Life - the Great Spirit! They would find strength and beauty in prayer and the solitudes of life.

Their children would once again be able to run free and enjoy the treasures of Nature and Mother Earth. Free from the fears of toxins and destruction, wrought by the Yo-ne-gi and his practices of greed. The rivers would again run clear, the forests be abundant and beautiful, the animals and birds would be replenished. The powers of the plants and animals would again be respected and conservation of all that is beautiful would become a way of life.

The poor, sick and needy would be cared for by their brothers and sisters of the Earth. These practices would again become a part of their daily lives.

The leaders of the people would be chosen in the old way - not by their political party, or who could speak the loudest, boast the most, or by name calling or mud slinging, but by those whose actions spoke the loudest. 

Those who demonstrated their love, wisdom, and courage and those who showed that they could and did work for the good of all, would be chosen as the leaders or Chiefs. They would be chosen by their "quality" and not the amount of money they had obtained. 

Like the thoughtful and devoted "Ancient Chiefs", they would understand the people with love, and see that their young were educated with the love and wisdom of their surroundings. They would show them that miracles can be accomplished to heal this world of its ills, and restore it to health and beauty.

The tasks of these "Warriors of the Rainbow" are many and great. There will be terrifying mountains of ignorance to conquer and they shall find prejudice and hatred. They must be dedicated, unwavering in their strength, and strong of heart. They will find willing hearts and minds that will follow them on this road of returning "Mother Earth" to beauty and plenty - once more.

The day will come, it is not far away. The day that we shall see how we owe our very existence to the people of all tribes that have maintained their culture and heritage. Those that have kept the rituals, stories, legends, and myths alive. 

It will be with this knowledge, the knowledge that they have preserved, that we shall once again return to "harmony" with Nature, Mother Earth, and mankind. It will be with this knowledge that we shall find our "Key to our Survival".

This is the story of the "Warriors of the Rainbow" and this is my reason for protecting the culture, heritage, and knowledge of my ancestors. I know that the day "Eyes of Fire" spoke of - will come! I want my children and grandchildren to be prepared to accept this task.The task of being one of the........"Warriors of the Rainbow".

---

This version comes from Lelanie Anderson, off her web site. Her contact information is:

http://www.angelfire.com/ok/TheCherokeeLady/indextostoriespage.html

Prophecy from ages past:

The great spiritual Teachers who walked the Earth and taught the basics of the truths of the Whirling Rainbow Prophecy will return and walk amongst us once more, sharing their power and understanding with all. We will learn how to see and hear in a sacred manner. 

Men and women will be equals in the way Creator intended them to be; all children will be safe anywhere they want to go. Elders will be respected and valued for their contributions to life. 

Their wisdom will be sought out. The whole Human race will be called The People and there will be no more war, sickness or hunger forever.

Navajo-Hopi Prophecy 

"When the earth is ravaged and the animals are dying, a new tribe of people shall come unto the earth from many colors, classes, creeds and who by their actions and deeds shall make the earth green again. They will be known as the warriors of the rainbow."   

Native American Prophecy

'Society should be horrified;' 15-year-old found dead in Winnipeg river

By Chinta Puxley and Steve Lambert, The Canadian Press


Yahoo Canada News/Winnipeg Police Service - The body of Tina Fontaine, 15, was found on Sunday (Handout)

WINNIPEG - Officers are investigating the slaying of a 15-year-old aboriginal girl from rural Manitoba whose body was found wrapped in a bag and dumped in the Red River after she ran away from her foster home.

Police on Monday identified the girl as Tina Fontaine, who was in the care of Child and Family Services and was reported missing Aug 9.

Winnipeg police Sgt. John O'Donovan said Tina had only been in Winnipeg for a month, but was rebelling and had run away. Described as five-foot-three-inches tall and weighing only about 100 pounds, she was last seen in the city's downtown Aug. 8. She was wearing a white skirt, blue jacket and pink-and-white runners.

Her body was pulled from the river Sunday.

"At 15, I'm sure she didn't realize the danger that she was putting herself in," O'Donovan told a news conference.

"She's a child. This is a child that's been murdered. Society would be horrified if we found a litter of kittens or pups in the river in this condition. This is a child.

"Society should be horrified."

Thelma Favel and her husband had been caring for Tina for about 10 years. Favel is Tina's great aunt, but added Tina called her mama.

Favel had also cared for Tina's father, Eugene Fontaine, for many years, and when he was diagnosed with cancer, he asked her to look after his children.

"He asked me and my husband if we would look after his kids seeing that he lived with us for so long when he was younger, and he said he knew the kids would have a good home and food to eat all the time."

Favel said the last time she saw Tina was July 1, when she took her to Winnipeg to visit her biological mother. Tina had run away a few times starting last summer.

"She ran away twice and then she sort of settled down and she went back to school and she was doing so good," Favel said, sobbing.

Favel said Tina called her sister Sarah about a week and a half ago.

"The last time her sister heard from her, she told her, 'Tell mama and papa I love them, I miss them, but I'm not ready to go home yet."

No arrests have been made, O'Donovan said. Investigators are calling on anyone who saw Fontaine in the last 10 days, or who knows what happened to her, to contact police.

Fontaine, who had just turned 15, had a history of running away, but O'Donovan said police knew roughly where she went each time she was previously reported missing.

Police aren't saying how Fontaine died or whether she was sexually assaulted, but O'Donovan said she was already dead by the time her body was dumped in the river.

"The autopsy has been conducted and it's obvious that this child didn't put herself in the river in that condition," he said. "It's something that we're going to hold back on and we're not going to get into exactly how this girl died."

There are only a handful of people who know how Fontaine died, including those responsible for her death, he said.

"She's definitely been exploited and taken advantage of, murdered and put into the river in this condition," O'Donovan said. "Somebody may have seen her. We would like to talk to anybody who has seen her."

Last week, Manitoba unveiled a monument to almost 1,200 missing and murdered aboriginal women. The two-metre-high granite statue stands just by the junction of the Red and Assiniboine rivers in downtown Winnipeg.

In May, the RCMP issued a detailed statistical breakdown of 1,181 cases since 1980. The report said aboriginal women make up 4.3 per cent of the Canadian population, yet account for 16 per cent of female homicides and 11.3 per cent of missing women.

Also on Sunday, the body of a man was pulled from the river near a north-end park. That man has not been publicly identified, but police say the death is not suspicious.

Police have not identified the man, but several Winnipeg media outlets reported Monday night that a family member said the man was Faron Hall, also known as the "Homeless Hero."

Hall received national media attention for saving two people from the Red River on separate occasions in 2009.

Ted Nugent: Native Americans Are ‘Unclean Vermin’ Who Don’t ‘Qualify As People’

http://www.addictinginfo.org/2014/07/23/ted-nugent-native-americans-are-unclean-vermin-who-dont-qualify-as-people/


AUTHOR: STEPHEN D FOSTER JR

In response to Idaho Native Americans canceling one of his performances, Ted Nugent displayed the behavior that caused the tribe to do so in the first place.

Nugent had been scheduled to perform a concert at Couer D’Alene Casino in Worley, Idaho on Aug. 4, but it was canceled after tribal officials were made aware of the racism Nugent has spewed over the years. The conservative rocker didn’t take the news very well, of course, and went on a discuting rant during an interview with Gannett Wisconsin Media in which he called those who canceled the concert “unclean vermin” who aren’t real people.

“I take it as a badge of honor that such unclean vermin are upset by me and my positive energy,” Nugent hatefully said. “By all indicators, I don’t think they actually qualify as people, but there has always been a lunatic fringe of hateful, rotten, dishonest people that hate happy, successful people.”

To be blunt, it sounds like Nugent is talking about himself considering the racist remarks he has made about President Obama in recent years. 

The Idaho Native Americans who made the decision to cancel the concert did so precisely because of how hateful, dishonest, and rotten ‘The Motor City Madman’ is. 

We’re talking about a man who crapped his pants to avoid serving in Vietnam, a man who married a teen girl he was the legal guardian of just so he could have sex with her, a man who has called for the execution of Democrats and the President of the United States, and a man who has made racist comment after racist comment.

Native Americans are not only people, they’re the first people and original inhabitants of North America. Their ancient culture has played a large role in shaping America, and it’s because of hateful bigoted people like Nugent that Native Americans have been nearly wiped out.

This isn’t the first time Nugent has been stopped from performing a concert. Earlier this year, a town in Texas actually paid him $16,000 to stay away from them, and it’s amazing that more towns don’t do the same thing. 

But if the Couer D’Alene tribe wants a real rock star to perform at their casino, I suggest asking rock legend Tom Petty. Not only will they get to see a better show, they’ll get a better human being.

Second casino cancels Ted Nugent's shows

Janet Kim and Travis Pittman, KING-TV, Seattle

TACOMA, Wash. -- Emerald Queen Casino will cancel two Ted Nugent concerts that were scheduled August 2 and 3, citing racist remarks made by the singer.

Puyallup Tribe officials said they also received threats from community members who demanded the casino cancel his shows.

The Washington tribe's action comes days after the Coeur d'Alene Tribe cancelled Nugent's August 4 shows at its Idaho casino because of the rocker's "racist and hate-filled remarks."

The Idaho tribe said Monday it booked Nugent without realizing he espoused "racist attitudes and views." The tribe did not detail which of Nugent's specific views it opposes.

Nugent in the past has referred to President Barack Obama as a "subhuman mongrel." Nugent later apologized "for using the street fight terminology," but he maintained that Obama was a "liar" violating the Constitution.

USATODAY

Tribe cancels Ted Nugent show, cites 'racist' views

Officials for Nugent's music management company were out of the office on Monday and not available for comment.

But Nugent defended himself on Tuesday on Radio.com. Nugent said his music has been influenced by Chuck Berry and Bo Diddley, he has paid tribute to Martin Luther King Jr. in his songs, and that lyrics in his song Great White Buffalo are not racist toward Native Americans.

Nugent also told Radio.com he's the target of an "army assigned to destroy Ted Nugent."

"I am so good at advancing the most politically incorrect policies in the world," the rocker said. "I have been involved in upgrading our Second Amendment rights in all 50 states, so we the people can in fact keep and bear arms…the left hates that. ... I have expanded and increased hunting opportunities all across the globe. So I am able to, dare I say, perfectly articulate my case — they are not."

(Contributing: Associated Press)

http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/music/2014/07/24/ted-nugent-washington-casino-cancels-shows/13133233/

Chief Dan George

“May the stars carry your sadness away, 
May the flowers fill your heart with beauty,
May hope forever wipe away your tears,
And, above all, may silence make you strong.”

― Chief Dan George (Geswanouth Slahoot) Chief of the Tsleil-Waututh


One thing to remember is to talk to the animals. If you do, they will talk back to you. But if you don't talk to the animals, they won't talk back to you, then you won't understand, and when you don't understand you will fear and when you fear you will destroy the animals, and if you destroy the animals, you will destroy yourself.

Chief Dan George


When Christ said that man does not live by bread alone, he spoke of a hunger. This hunger was not the hunger of the body. It was not the hunger for bread. He spoke of a hunger that begins deep down in the very depths of our being. He spoke of a need as vital as breath. He spoke of our hunger for love.

Love is something you and I must have. We must have it because our spirit feeds upon it. We must have it because without it we become weak and faint. Without love our self-esteem weakens. Without it our courage fails. Without love we can no longer look out confidently at the world...

But with love, we are creative. With it, we march tirelessly. With it, and with it alone, we are able to sacrifice for others.

Chief Dan George

Lament for Confederation

"How long have I known you, Oh Canada? A hundred years? Yes, a hundred years. And many, many seelanum more. And today, when you celebrate your hundred years, Oh Canada, I am sad for all the Indian people throughout the land.

For I have known you when your forests were mine; when they gave me my meat and my clothing. I have known you in your streams and rivers where your fish flashed and danced in the sun, where the waters said 'come, come and eat of my abundance.' I have known you in the freedom of the winds. And my spirit, like the winds, once roamed your good lands.

But in the long hundred years since the white man came, I have seen my freedom disappear like the salmon going mysteriously out to sea. The white man's strange customs, which I could not understand, pressed down upon me until I could no longer breathe.

When I fought to protect my land and my home, I was called a savage. When I neither understood nor welcomed his way of life, I was called lazy. When I tried to rule my people, I was stripped of my authority.

My nation was ignored in your history textbooks - they were little more important in the history of Canada than the buffalo that ranged the plains. I was ridiculed in your plays and motion pictures, and when I drank your fire-water, I got drunk - very, very drunk. And I forgot.

Oh Canada, how can I celebrate with you this Centenary, this hundred years? Shall I thank you for the reserves that are left to me of my beautiful forests? For the canned fish of my rivers? For the loss of my pride and authority, even among my own people? For the lack of my will to fight back? No! I must forget what's past and gone.

Oh God in heaven! Give me back the courage of the olden chiefs. Let me wrestle with my surroundings. Let me again, as in the days of old, dominate my environment. Let me humbly accept this new culture and through it rise up and go on.

Oh God! Like the thunderbird of old I shall rise again out of the sea; I shall grab the instruments of the white man's success-his education, his skills- and with these new tools I shall build my race into the proudest segment of your society.

Before I follow the great chiefs who have gone before us, Oh Canada, I shall see these things come to pass. I shall see our young braves and our chiefs sitting in the houses of law and government, ruling and being ruled by the knowledge and freedoms of our great land.

So shall we shatter the barriers of our isolation. So shall the next hundred years be the greatest in the proud history of our tribes and nations."

Chief Dan George's speech Lament for Confederation on Canada's 100th year "birthday"

Yesterday marked the 147th birthday of Canada's Confederation.

Below, is a speech made by Chief Dan George at Empire Stadium marking Canada's 100th birthday on July 1, 1967.

There is also an active link.

http://www.vancouversun.com/news/national/Canada+This+history+July+1967/6876736/story.html

This day in history: July 1, 1967

 VANCOUVER SUN JULY 1, 2013 

On Canada's 100th birthday, Chief Dan George silenced a crowd of 32,000 with his 'Lament for Confederation' at Empire Stadium.

Photograph by: Glenn Baglo , Vancouver Sun file photo

On Canada's 100th birthday, Chief Dan George silenced a crowd of 32,000 with his "Lament for Confederation" at Empire Stadium. George's mournful speech began with, 

"Today, when you celebrate your hundred years, oh Canada, I am sad for all the Indian people throughout the land."

George - chief of the Tsleil-Waututh Nation, a Coast Salish band in North Vancouver - was also an author, poet and an Academy Award nominated actor. 

But above all, he was an activist and an influential speaker on the rights of native peoples of North America. 

Some of this activism may have stemmed from the fact that, at the age of five, George was placed in a residential school where his First Nations language and culture were prohibited. 

His "Lament for Confederation" - a scathing indictment of the appropriation of native territory by white colonists - was his most famous speech.

What follows is the complete text:

Lament for Confederation

How long have I known you, Oh Canada? A hundred years? Yes, a hundred years. And many, many seelanum more. And today, when you celebrate your hundred years, Oh Canada, I am sad for all the Indian people throughout the land.

For I have known you when your forests were mine; when they gave me my meat and my clothing. I have known you in your streams and rivers where your fish flashed and danced in the sun, where the waters said 'come, come and eat of my abundance.' I have known you in the freedom of the winds. And my spirit, like the winds, once roamed your good lands.

But in the long hundred years since the white man came, I have seen my freedom disappear like the salmon going mysteriously out to sea. 

The white man's strange customs, which I could not understand, pressed down upon me until I could no longer breathe.

When I fought to protect my land and my home, I was called a savage. When I neither understood nor welcomed his way of life, I was called lazy. When I tried to rule my people, I was stripped of my authority.

My nation was ignored in your history textbooks - they were little more important in the history of Canada than the buffalo that ranged the plains. 

I was ridiculed in your plays and motion pictures, and when I drank your fire-water, I got drunk - very, very drunk. And I forgot.

Oh Canada, how can I celebrate with you this Centenary, this hundred years? 

Shall I thank you for the reserves that are left to me of my beautiful forests? 

For the canned fish of my rivers? 

For the loss of my pride and authority, even among my own people? 

For the lack of my will to fight back? No! I must forget what's past and gone.

Oh God in heaven! Give me back the courage of the olden chiefs. Let me wrestle with my surroundings. Let me again, as in the days of old, dominate my environment. Let me humbly accept this new culture and through it rise up and go on.

Oh God! Like the thunderbird of old I shall rise again out of the sea; I shall grab the instruments of the white man's success-his education, his skills- and with these new tools I shall build my race into the proudest segment of your society.

Before I follow the great chiefs who have gone before us, Oh Canada, I shall see these things come to pass. 

I shall see our young braves and our chiefs sitting in the houses of law and government, ruling and being ruled by the knowledge and freedoms of our great land.

So shall we shatter the barriers of our isolation. So shall the next hundred years be the greatest in the proud history of our tribes and nations.

                                           -------------------------------------

Native Apology

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/globe-debate/white-people-heres-your-one-time-canada-day-special-native-people-apologize-back/article4382016/

White people, here's your one-time Canada Day special: Native people apologize back!

DREW HAYDEN TAYLOR - Jun. 30 2012

Canada Day has always been a mixed bag for Canada's native people. It makes us think of many things: patriotism, flags, sunburned cottagers, barbeques and exploding fireworks. That's the good stuff.

For some, though, it's a reminder that it was four years ago when Prime Minister Stephen Harper apologized to the first nations, Inuit and Métis inhabitants of this country for the imposition and effects of the infamous residential-school system.

Since then, much has been said and written about that apology: Did it go far enough? Too little too late? What's next? That is something I am afraid only educated, wealthy white men in positions of power can decide.

However, some in the native community feel that perhaps we are being a little lax in not issuing an apology of our own.

We are not without some culpability. In the centuries that have passed since that fateful day of contact, we ourselves have been negligent and irresponsible in not acknowledging our liability in many regretful incidents and events in the past.

So in the spirit of cooperation, I would like to offer up these apologies to the people of Canada on behalf of the NAFNIP (native/aboriginal/first nations/indigenous people):

We hereby apologize for being so inconsiderate as to occupy land that, one day, your people would want. Even though we did not have a postal system or an Internet, this was an inexcusable oversight. We hope you are enjoying it.

We apologize for having so many politically correct and incorrect names for you to call us - everything from native to aboriginal to first nations to wagon burner to status-card number 48759375876-1.

In retrospect, to make things easier for you, we should have stayed in India, where we were originally thought to have come from. Unfortunately today it is really hard to get decent palak paneer on the reserve.

We hereby apologize for not understanding the subtle connections between God, children and sexual abuse. Some are still struggling with appreciating this association.

They are forgetting that, early in the Bible, it says, "Let there be white. And it was good."

We apologize for wanting rights to minerals and other natural resources that exist beneath our feet. When you negotiated for our land, you meant to the Earth's core.

We did not fully comprehend that when we were put on reserves where our rights to the land only went two or three feet below the surface.

Anything that falls down a sewer grate basically belongs to the Federal Government.

We apologize for being so concerned about the disappearances of so many native women.

We did not realize that the professional attitude of most law-enforcement agencies towards this issue was basically "out of sight, out of mind." From now on, we'll report any native women that go missing as white women with dark tans. That should speed up response time.

No need to thank us.

We hereby apologize for straining the Canadian health system due to our propensity towards diseases like diabetes. I know it has been said we put the word "die" in diabetes, but being introduced to all that Kraft Dinner and potato chips was definitely worth giving up the steady diet of salmon and deer.

I am sure the vegetarians are happy.

We apologize for launching so many land claims against the federal and provincial governments. One of our most ancient teachings tells us it is our sacred responsibility to make sure as many lawyers as possible are fed and looked after.

Where would they be without us?

We hereby apologize for wanting autonomy from the Federal bureaucracy of the DIA (Department of Indian Affairs). ... Wait a minute, make that DIAND (Department of Indian and Northern Development). ... Sorry, but I think it's now called INAC (Indian and Northern Affairs Canada). ... No, I have just been informed the Ministry's official name is now AANDC - short for Aboriginal Affairs Northern Development Canada. ... Now I forget what my original point was.

And though it had nothing to do with us, we are sorry for obvious reasons for the unique acronym of a once-testy office known as the Government of Ontario Native Affairs Directorate.

Finally, and perhaps most of all, we apologize for helping Canada/Great Britain win the War of 1812 against the Americans. There are many in the native community who feel Barack Obama would be a far more interesting leader than Mr. Harper.

But in our defence, who could have guessed?

Drew Hayden Taylor is a playwright and filmmaker who lives on the Curve Lake First Nation in Central Ontario.